Monday, 1 June 2009

why do people complain and criticize so much?

a couple of times a week I log onto one or two of the Expat Forums .... not for any particular reason, maybe just to see whats happening, or who is going on holidays, or where to buy some books .... just basic info.

But lately the forums are full of complaints and criticisms.

People put up a question asking where to buy this or that, or where to go for a weekend, or maybe they are looking for friends.

But there are always so many replies in the negative.

Many people say the most ridiculous things that just don't help anyone, or the situation and certainly not helping those that asked the question.

This morning reading where a person was looking for a desk. She found one here in Singapore but it was "ridiculously expensive" and went on to make comment how much it was in the UK. That is fine...... some things are more expensive, some things less so....

but the usual stupid reply arrived:


Does anything make sense in this ridiculous country?
Just enjoy this place for what is can bring to you, which, I admit, is very little.


why reply like this?

It was not necessary.

Such a selfish person ....... typical to think of just themselves........ it sends a very bad message to the local people, and in all honesty does nothing but create unrest.

The person that wrote this must surely gain a lot from living here, he/she would take home good pay and most likely have a good lifestyle.

But they are ready and willing to knock living in Singapore!

He/She is one of those Expats that only here here for one reason: to take what they can and not think about giving.

unfortunately there are many of them.

I am often ashamed and embarrassed to be known as an "expat", as we are all lumped into the same 'box' by the local population.

I often wonder how Singaporeans would fare living overseas (many of them do) but wonder how they react to costs, lifestyle, friends etc .... do they constantly complain? Are they unhappy? Do they have their own "Expat Forums" where they vent their anger and frustration as above?

Not everything is as it is at "home" wherever that maybe. Some prices maybe a little higher, some a little lower. So what? The wages they earn covers all that!

I know someone from the US here that is always complaining about the cost of things .... but totally forgets the exchange rate!!

I also try to remind her that so many things are made in the US .... here EVERYTHING is imported, so we need to pay extra for the duty, the storage, the shipping. But it is totally beyond her.

We have all been given the opportunity to come and live here, mostly due to work.

We have to make the best of what we have and enjoy it while we can. It can be a great experience to have the opportunity to live elsewhere and be part of a different culture.

We are happy that we are here, most people work and live together in harmony, the sun shines, the people are friendly towards us, we have lots of opportunities to travel, we have food on the table and a roof over our head. Not always do we see our family and friends but they are only as far away as the phone or email, there are some things I dislike (like pushing and shoving to get there first!) but we have to try and ignore these 'cultural differences' and accept things are different.

But why make such ridiculous comments?

Can't they just shut up and accept what they have?

It is such a beautiful day, lets all enjoy it whatever it may bring us.


AngryAngMoh said...

Hey Leone,

I agree with you, and I would like to post this as a "guest post" on my blog, with a link to your page. Would that be fine for you?


Leone Fabre said...

Yes, of course you can!

I wrote the above while I was still sitting here feeling mad about what is so often written......

I have cooled down a bit now!

Enjoy YOUR day. :-)

AngryAngMoh said...

thanks a lot :)

Melanie said...

Great post!! People are far too negative...I was kind of like that when we first moved here, but then it's like, "This is not the US." You have to stop it too short!

Leone Fabre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leone Fabre said...

Thanks Melanie.....

Yes, we are all quick to criticize, but not so quick to look at the positive side of things.

Not everything is perfect here, but then, no where else is either.

Not one of us can say we live (or did live) in the perfect country .... but we are very lucky to have the opportunity to experience living here in Singapore.

cajunsis said...

I love Singapore - my only complaints are that it is so darned far away from my own home country and my 'stuff' - and that is no fault of anyone in Singapore. The people are incredibly friendly, the mixture of expats and locals is amazing, and the country is beautiful. I love the parks, recreation, and the food - and especially the people.

I have to remind myself we pay in Sing and do catch myself thinking about the cost, but usually, I instantly remember it is higher because it IS in Sing and much more for things imported. Local food is much more reasonable.

No country is perfect; thanks for posting this. It is a great reminder for us all. Singapore is an amazing country.

Oswald Chong said...

I have my fair share of complaints of the place I'm living at.... I'm just another Singaporean (if you know what I mean).

Singaporeans are also known for their complaints, but complaints are good. At least the locals know what they need to improve. If you don't complain, they will not work hard to improve themselves.... I just hope they'll listen to the complaints and continue to improve, that's what make a nation great.

I'm lucky to be able to live in your wonderful country, the United States too. I'm glad with everything that I have, and people here really listens to my constructive complaints.

But I do have one thing to complain.... it's the U.S. immigration before you get your Green Card or Citizenship... they treat any foreigners like they're from outer space. I have many horror stories, and it's really giving the United States a bad name. I tried my best to explain to my friends that Americans ain't like that.... but you know, the first experience lasts....

Not sure how many Americans know that the Deputy Prime Minister from Malaysia was bodysearched when he visited the U.S... like he was some sort of terrorist... I was held up on a room with five Homeland Security officers, and they were chatting all the time, and kept me waiting for two hours (and I dared not complain back then, as I was still a student). My friend got arrested because he complained to a Homeland Security officer that he lost his luggage and it contained an important document he needed for a meeting (and he flew that from Singapore to Chicago, and refused to sent it via Fedex). I know my friend very well, he's not the kind who will shout at anyone. I think the Homeland Security Agents need better training on Customer Service.

But once you get your Green Card... everything's fine, at least you become a human being.

Thanks for reading.

Tanya said...

Everyone complains sometimes even when they are living in their own countries.
It frustrates me that the ordinary Cambodian people DONT complain loudly enough. That they just take whatever is dished out by the rich and powerful who run and use this country to fill their own pockets to overflowing. They are often angry and scared and feel used but they also feel so powerless that they dont do all! Consequently they render themselves destined to live day to day just existing. It is pretty hard for an expat in Cambodia to complain too loudly when you dont have to look too far too see such abject poverty and misery.
I do complain sometimes (like when the water gets turned off just as Im finishing scrubbing the floors and need a good scrubbing myself or the 100 decibel party nextdoor starts at 12am for the 4th weekend in a row or the power goes off and I lose an hours worth of work on the pc or we get stopped by the cop on the corner for the 3rd time that day because hes hot and needs 5USD for a drink-nope they are not even subtle!) but I am generally a happy person with a very happy to be living in South East Asia family.

Leone Fabre said...

Tanya, I think you have a legit reason for your complaints!!

Here the expats seem to complain about so much, the prices, the people, the rules, the trains, the drivers .... it seems they don't have too many positive comments about Singapore or the Singaporean people.

But they are not just complaining .... they are often downright rude. I would not even repeat here what I see on some of the forums ... they so often run this country down and yet are taking home the benefits.

But I do have a quite grumble to myself when people barge in front of me or push past me to be first in the queue ... I find the people here want to be first in line everytime .... but it is in their culture and I have to accept that type of behaviour - even if I don't like it.

... and yes, I would be complaining too if my water was turned off, or the power went off etc .... I would consider these very legitimate reasons for doing so!!

enjoy your day. :-)

Tanya said...

I learned very early on in our expat career (in Samoa where the water went off for 3 whole months- fun to shower/wash clothes under the spouting for the first week but then...)to just to let things go. Singapore (where we were before we lived here) was a breeze after the Solomons. I agree expats seem so money driven and impatient in Singapore. I got the feeling that many spouses in Singapore had been dragged there by their working halves and were 'doing time'. I have no such excuse as it was all my suggestion in the first place and the fact that we never did it 'for the money' helps too especially when we could potentially be earning a lot more at home!
Thanks for your post re the France Air crash too. Its so true it all seems very close to home when your getting on and off planes so often many times separately too. The horror the families must be feeling is almost palpable.